CLASSIFIED MEMO ⤷ psychological addendum #1
WARNING: The following contains profanities and uncensored raw statements.
Yes, I had another terrible time facing my fear: flights. but once I got home, everything was gone. all my worries, all my trouble; it was all just gone. all of my paranoia and anti-social behaviour was amplified by the unforgiving environment and society I witnessed in the West. going back to my roots really helped me realize that. it's incomprehensible to me how some people can live in such a cold, alienated society where the measure for beauty is how much of a whore you are --- and the measure for a good lifestyle is how wealthy you are. it's so bitter and inhumane. I saw so few smiles and the few of them I did notice were driven by ulterior motives. it was sad to see. gosh, I'm so relieved now. people just... talk. people just talk for the sake of talking. sharing information just because they have any. gatekeeping, analysing, keeping quiet until certain --- I thought these were qualities of intelligence, but I find it to be rather just poison to people's humanity. these behaviours corrupt and destabilize connections and interactions. it makes all of them fragile
[LOCATION] really fucked me up. I found nothing good there. I needed this. coming home was the best choice I could've made. and it was worth the "high risk" that my mind was fabricating. I seriously wish there were better alternatives to [ACTION REDACTED]ing.
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